The Taste Test: Greggs v Greenhalgh's

"Oh my God," squealed Lynda Moyo. "It's all down to the gingerbread men."

Then she started crying.

That's the level of tension you get when two fully-fledged giants of any discipline go head to head.

Barca v Real. Utd v City. Ali v Frazier.

Thanks to the good people of Greggs and Greenhalgh's - who agreed to put themsleves up for the challenge - we had a pile of pasties to blind taste test.

Editor, food critic, bon viveur, myth-maker and jay-walker Jonathan Schofield donned his smartest tasting suit (normally he just wears a massive kaftan) and stared nervously at four plates.

Each bakery was to be judged on the following.

A cheese pasty; a sausage roll; a gingerbread man; a jam doughnut and a festive mince pie.

The food was on unmarked plates, giving Schofield no clue as to which was from where.

The Judging Begins

First up was the pasty. Greenhalgh's pasty was pastey in colour, but the cheese goo in the middle was solid and sturdy. Greggs was better-looking but had a vicious and angry cheese-filling that scared Schofield. Greenhalgh's take an early lead.

Then the second savoury; the sausage roll. A staple of any good bakery. The tables were turned. Greggs had a peppery filling and a flaking crust as opposed to a tasteless fool of a Greenhalgh's roll, that refused to split properly. This resulted in the full sausage filling lolling grotesquely out of one end of the split pastry like the member of an aroused dog as the beast suddenly turns over. Greggs all the way.

Onto the sweet stuff. Time for a jam doughnut. The Greggs had the better dough, the Greenhalghs had the better jam, the Greggs jam splattered out frighteningly over the table at one point. A tie.

It's Christmas, so it must be mince pies. Gregg's mad home-made affair looked a bit pathetic against the engineered lines of the Greenhalgh's mincer but it carried the better flavour. A Gregg's win. 

2-1 to Greggs. 

"Oh my God," squealed Lynda Moyo. "It's all down to the gingerbread men to see whether its a win or a draw."

Then she started to cry. 

We'd reached crunch time. Literally. 

Lynda Moyo Starts To Get Emotional 

The gingerbread men were squaring off against each other, toe to toe. Apart from they have no toes. In fact, one of them didn't even have legs. One had a hat and scarf. But anyway...

This was no contest. The Gregg's gingerbread man's buttons were all wrong, he was hollow-eyed. Greenhalgh's offering had a scarf, a natty hat and proper eyes. Worse for Greggs you couldn't even taste any ginger. It was a shallow, pale ghost of a gingerbread man. A gingerless wraith.

2-2.

A draw then.

But wait. Right at the start there had been the forgotten visual appeal test. Greenhalgh's offerings had tipped the balance way back then, being generally more colourful and better designed.

So the final score was 3-2.

To Greenhalgh's.

Well done to those good people. And a big thanks to both Greggs and Greenhalgh's for bringing a load of food to the office and for putting yourselves up to the challenge.

Who's next?

The Contestants

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Schofield Is Puzzled - Frightened Even

Lapse In Button Execution Puts The Greggs' Challenge In Doubt

There's A Definite Winner In The Gingerbread Man Category