Manchester gets Michelin awards at last

THIS IS AN APRIL FOOL'S DAY STORY

Four Manchester restaurants have been awarded a Michelin gong.

These places are being recognised for their unbelievable commitment and dedication to what they do best

These are:

Gio's restaurant, Lower Mosley Street (click here)

Pumpkins, Victoria Station (click here)

Arts Brasserie, Ramada Piccadilly Hotel (click here)

Cafe Rouge, Spinningfields.

This time we're not talking Michelin stars but Michelin tyres.

For 2010 a special award has been created which is, according to Michelin judges, “in recognition of those really bad places which you should avoid at all costs. Please shout, scream, clench your fists and screw up your face in frustration if asked to visit.”

A representative of Michelin said: “Manchester is a special city. While there are many good places in which to dine, there are huge numbers which are, to use the local vernacular, 'minging'. But more minging than most are these sorry establishments. These places are being recognised for their commitment and dedication to what they do best: being really bad.”

There are three Michelin tyres in the marking scheme – this ties in with the Michelin star scheme.

Cafe Rouge has been awarded one tyre. Gio's two tyres. Arts Brasserie and Pumpkins three tyres “because of their truly remarkable level of pisspoorness.”

Confidential called Pumpkins and asked this question. “Following our review and interview with your representative a year ago, you promised improvements in this gorgeous 100-year-old building. You re-jigged it a little and put a splash of paint on it, but the food is still execrable, the management poor and its potential totally unrealised. Do you have a comment?”

“This call may be recorded for training purposes,” came the revealing reply. “For customer service indifference press one. For a load of crap about budgets press two. For a frustrating wait with some terrible music press three. We recommend you put the phone down and never call us back because we really can't be bothered.”