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Nigella Lawson To Open MCR Teashop - First In UK Chain

Former Burger King site in Piccadilly chosen for first cake and tea outlet

Published on April 1st 2012.


Nigella Lawson To Open MCR Teashop - First In UK Chain

YES, THIS WAS AN APRIL FOOL STORY.

NIGELLA LAWSON is coming to Manchester on Saturday 14 April to open her first branded first teashop.

It will occupy the old Burger King unit in Piccadilly. 

"There'll be plenty for them to tuck into and I want to show them some jolly decent middle-class virtues."

Muffin Kneading TechniqueNigella's Muffin Kneading MagicSpeaking exclusively to Confidential Nigella said, "I can't wait to come 'Up North' as we say down here. I really want to show people what I have up my sleeve and further along a bit. I have lots of recipes. People will be able to enjoy my beautiful buns, my firm cream muffins and my billowy D-cupcakes."

There will be twenty staff employed said Nigella. "The waitresses will be proper women, fuller figured, and every hour will dance a gentle swing dance, we call the Jiggle-bug."

And what type of food and drink can people expect?

"There'll be morning tease, afternoon tease, evening tease and special deliveries for people living in apartments of high tease."

Isn't she worried though about the reputation of that particular site? The Burger King previously attracted more police call-outs than any other food and drink place in the city.

Some of the Cup Cake rangeSome of the Cup Cake range"I would welcome the usual customers," Nigella said. "There'll be plenty for them to tuck into and I want to show them some jolly decent middle-class virtues. Maybe they'll learn by example."

"After all," she continued, "this place as it stands is already a bit of a social experiment on Friday and Saturday nights, filled with a great many people, including women, who binge drink rather than spreading their alcohol consumption through the day alone at home waiting for hubby, or in charity luncheons with the ladies."

So will she be frequently in Manchester?

"Not really, darling," she told Confidential, wiping some cream off an apple turnover and slowly licking it from her finger with a giggle. "It's not really my cup of tea, but I hope my teas are your cup of tea."

The new venture will be the first of an initial roll-out of ten outlets across the UK. 

Nigella LawsonNigella Lawson

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23 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

Michelle EvansApril 1st 2012.

april fools?

Andrew MellorApril 1st 2012.

Very cruel Confidential! In my hungover state I very much believed this headline for a moment...

Peter SwallowApril 1st 2012.

Don't you think you should indicate this is a joke somewhere in the article before she sues you for this, as she should? Very irresponsible 'journalism' and I use the term VERY loosely.

7 Responses: Reply To This...
Jenny LeonardApril 1st 2012.

Oh for goodness sake. Lighten up before you rupture something... :D

AnonymousApril 1st 2012.

Are you actually serious?? I hate the phrase, but chill out!!

Andrew MellorApril 1st 2012.

You actually visit ManCon for its journalistic prowess?! Calm down dear...

tomegranateApril 1st 2012.

Jesus, this comment is funnier that the story.

James KayApril 2nd 2012.

Ha haaaaaa!

Hero
Mark GarnerApril 2nd 2012.

Blimey Peter! Journalism? Have you not read Mancon before <godprotectusfromjournos>

;-)

Stephen LaganApril 5th 2012.

Ooooooh handbags

ALYBOBSApril 1st 2012.

Its not a bad idea though ! speaking as a non coffee drinker, we could do with a naughty tea with a twist shoppe, shall I call her or will you???

Jen StanApril 1st 2012.

I'm sure the scallies of piccadilly would love this if it were true. 'Finish your special brew lads and put a t shirt on, we're off to nigella's for some tea and cake'.

1 Response: Reply To This...
Andrew MellorApril 1st 2012.

Could be the start of a social revolution! The scally boys would surely be enticed by Nigella's bangers.

Elaine JohnsonApril 1st 2012.

almost got me there.

Carol SpinkApril 1st 2012.

April fool.

Reader XxxApril 1st 2012.

Maybe Nigella is starting a "Revolution" for the better of us locals...always welcome Love...!

SueApril 1st 2012.

I was just about to get my CV ready for sending in!!!!!

Stephen WatersApril 1st 2012.

Excellent spoof!

RobertApril 1st 2012.

Its a shame its a spoof, I was looking forward to visiting Nigella's teashop!

Natalie HillApril 1st 2012.

Aw, I wish :(

AnonymousApril 2nd 2012.

Does it mean i wont be able to get hold of her buns on the way into work?

Tony DoyleApril 2nd 2012.

...MADE ME LAUGH!!!

Ghostly TomJuly 17th 2012.

I think Nigella should actually do this! I'd go!

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