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Heston Blumenthal opens in Manchester

Chorlton chosen as location for first Northern Blumenthal

Published on April 4th 2011.


Heston Blumenthal opens in Manchester

All right, that was an April Fools' Day treat for you. We're very glad if you swallowed it hook, line and sinker.

MANCHESTER has been starved of high profile chefs coming in to create a world-class restaurant. The imminent Jamie’s Kitchen is hardly that and provokes the response: so why Brighton, Oxford, Leeds before us? That’s all about to change big time.

I’d heard so much about the suburb’s elegance, refinement and lentils. Then when the council cuts closed the library it seemed the perfect time to get the building and create something beautiful.

The Pukka One is set to be totally eclipsed by the arrival of the gastronomic Super Moon himself – Heston Blumenthal.

He’s masterminding a fine-dining establishment in the city’s most food-centric quarter, Chorlton.

And it’s called Chorlton:Heston.

Heston Blumenthal's Signature Dish On Edible PaperHeston Blumenthal's Signature Dish On Edible Paper

Housed in the former library on Manchester Road, critics are already queuing up to say that this will be the destination restaurant for which north western foodies have been craving. It might be the game-changer we all wanted.

Chorlton Library

From Literature to Fine Dining

The move is all down to a book that Confidential happened to show him on a trip to Dinner, Blumenthal’s new place in the Mandarin Hotel.

The book is Elizabeth Baffles’ stained and torn 18th century account of dishes served at a merchant’s mansion in George Street. This is a spinster’s extraordinary culinary journey inside a primitive domestic kitchen. It shows that an extremely refined version of ‘nose to tail’ eating was alive even then, using ingredients we wouldn’t associate with that age.


Food

Heston read it from cover to cover and caught the next Pendolino north. Chorlton caught his imagination, too.

Creating Dinner had taken over his life for the best part of two years. Even the Fat Duck took a back seat.

He said: “It was time for the next challenge. And time to come to Chorlton. I’d heard so much about the suburb’s elegance, refinement and lentils. Then when the council cuts closed the library it seemed the perfect time to get the building and create something beautiful.”

ManCon understands negotiations are well advanced for the purchase of the Grade 2 listed building. Arab backers will spare no expense to make the 90-cover restaurant Manchester’s biggest ever style statement.

Already Blumenthal protege James Cook (El Bulli, Noma, the French Laundry, Nutters) has been head-hunted to lead a 20-strong brigade. Soux chefs will include upcoming Wilbraham and Oswald Rode (sadly the third of the triplets, Nicholas, couldn’t join them).

Chorlton Heston

Food in a restaurant, a place where people pay to have food cooked for them rather than cooking at home and having to do the washing-up

Front of house is expected to be the legendary Nino Simone, coming out of Capri retirement. George Bergier, a Chorlton resident and current sommelier at Sam’s Chop House will be the wine consultant. Victor Hyman from The Barbakan Deli will provide an ‘archly knowing’ Friday night stand-up gig.

Future plans include the construction of a 30-acre herb garden and Nubian goat farm on the site of Old Trafford football ground.

Coldplay are expected to jam with Gwyneth Paltrow and Jamie Cullen, a big Blumenthal fan, at the launch, provisionally scheduled for 19 October.

Canapes will consist of the place’s signature dish in waiting – caperberry-stuffed boar’s colon, a favourite of Miss Elizabeth Baffles. Hence the colon central to Chorlton:Heston.

Confidential has been given a sneak preview of the dishes on the a la carte menu:

Starters

Wasabi-soused elk tongue with fatigued espuma
Herons-blood noflyzone with Gaddafi rock salad
Amuse pooch (small happy dog) 
Harsh and abrasive snails rigorously denied

Mains

Scorched marlin hoof, fettled potato and helium-roasted monster munch
The Medlock Egg: placenta conceived out of Medlock, deep-fried in sumac-sprinkled loam
Steak tartar: cold, dead, beef
Punished ducks, with kitchen-caught locally sourced wasp puree

Sides

Loads of beetroot, just loads of it

Desserts

Massive Tesco Surprise with appalled local raspberries
Mashed mish of mish mash, nish and tish
Swarfega and bilberry pavlova
Exploded sherbet lemons in Space

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28 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

Mike HuckleApril 1st 2011.

Good work ManCon. Had me for a bit there

Adam RichmondApril 1st 2011.

B*stards. I forgot it was april fools. I almost came in my pants.

Hero
GordoApril 1st 2011.

How old am I? Just about call Schofield and bollock him for not telling me...

corkboyinexileApril 1st 2011.

Very nearly had me there....very nearly

Mike LeverApril 1st 2011.

I particularly fancy the punished duck with kitchen caught wasp puree, possibly with the Tesco surprise with appalled local raspberries.
Can barely type for laughter!

Rob CutforthApril 1st 2011.

Had me right up to the Nubian goat farm. Brilliant.

Sue17320April 1st 2011.

Do I get to take the 'Amuse pooch' home with me, don't think our cat would be too happy though! If the article hadn't got so silly towards the end I bet you'd have fooled a lot of people, the idea of Heston setting foot in the North is unbelievable enough though!

Coy ranterApril 1st 2011.

Amuse pooch will keep me smiling all day. Helium-roasted monster munch sound like the perfect hangover cure.

The name is the bestApril 1st 2011.

Chorlton:Heston - genius

paul10954April 1st 2011.

Date Published: 31/03/2011 12:50:06 ???????????
Bit early wasn't it?

EditoriaApril 1st 2011.

Preparation Paul...that's the secret as Heston says

J E SibberingApril 1st 2011.

I'm glad to see that Swarfega gets a mention.

OilApril 1st 2011.

TBLZEBRA I presume it's because of the natural oils in bilberry

AtalantaApril 1st 2011.

Now THIS has had me in stitches. Brilliant.

Chris KApril 1st 2011.

Massive Tesco Surprise with appalled local raspberries. Wow you nailed Chorlton with that one

Heston ServicesApril 1st 2011.

Bloody brilliant! For 10 seconds I bought it hook, line and sinker. The menu is hilarious!

emmawhitefieldApril 1st 2011.

You bastards - it's only when I got to the Nubian goat farm that it finally hit me! Good one!
x

Amanda AlexanderApril 1st 2011.

sitting in our toy shop in chorlton crying with laughter.

ChrisApril 1st 2011.

Good one MC. All the lentil munchers of Chorlton would have pooped mung beans in the thought of Ells tongue and the like.

MarkymarkApril 1st 2011.

The goat farm is a great idea.

Matthew HApril 1st 2011.

Hook, line and sinker. . . . . right up until the Chorlton Heston bit!

MaggsApril 1st 2011.

Totally brilliant - I'm crying with laughter and thinking of the kitchen caught wasp puree for our next dinner party!! - it could be a trendsetter that one!!!

GUTTED!April 1st 2011.

Having checked the posting date (NOT April 1st) and posted to facebook before checking the menu, I am truly gutted (and embarrassed)!
Well done MC :-)

AnonymousApril 1st 2011.

That's 2 minutes of my life I'll never get back!! Cheers Schofield!!

sylvieApril 1st 2011.

gutted i am i was caught hook line and bloody sinker i think gordo definately owes me a meal on him for that what with me being a poor old defenceless lady and all.x

Craig KimApril 1st 2011.

So where can I get a recipe for the Mashed mish of mish mash, nish and tish?

AnonymousApril 1st 2011.

OMG totally believed it and rang my boyf to tell him! How embarrasing.....

Sue17320April 1st 2011.

Just had another thought, would they give you a 'doggy bag' to take the 'amuse pooch' home in if you couldn't eat it all ? My O.H. has been trying this on workmates today but most of them caught on at the name 'Chorlton:Heston', brilliant!

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