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Seduction: the secret ways of unlucky men

Stacey Berry goes to a book signing and gets negged

Written by . Published on May 18th 2011.

Seduction: the secret ways of unlucky men

I’M PROBABLY not your typical Neil Strauss fan. I’m not a virgin. I’m not shy. I’ve no problems chatting to the opposite sex. I’m also not male. Yet I was still excited to see the posters in Waterstone’s announcing that Mr Strauss was coming to town.

Then there was the guy who instructed his friends to ‘Neg her! Neg her!’ At first I thought he was shouting racist remarks before remembering about ‘negging’ where you give a girl a back-handed compliment.  

A few weeks later I squeezed into a small room in the Deansgate branch with a hundred and nineteen others to hear him talk about his new book ‘Everyone Loves You When You’re Dead’, featuring stories from his days as a music journalist.

"This is boring," I heard a guy behind me say not long after Neil had started addressing the gathered crowd.

106.jpgYou could very well wonder why someone would splash out three English pounds to go to a book signing, then had no interest in hearing the author talk about it, but I reckoned he was there for another reason entirely.

The reason that, aside from a handful of females, the rest of the audience was testosterone-based.  The reason being, that Neil Strauss is considered the world’s best pickup artist.

You wouldn’t know it to look at him. Which is primarily why his most well-known book, The Game, is so successful. Neil himself states that he was a short, unattractive, bald, skinny guy who’d never had luck in getting the girl, when he was asked by a book editor to write about pickup artists. He hesitantly agreed. 

His research led him to an underground secret community where men would discuss how to seduce women. He infiltrated the group, learned techniques from the best and became the character ‘Style’, a guy that all women want to be with. The Game is the story of that transformation, while the subsequent book, The Rules of the Game instructs men how they too can become irresistible to the female species.

110.jpgAs I stood waiting to have my book signed, I received a text from my friend. I let her know that I was about to meet a famous seducer. ‘Only you’ she replied. I wish it was only me. It was the slowest moving queue I’d ever been in. Even the M&S bra-fitting service one moves at a faster pace.  It seemed that everyone was taking the opportunity to chat to the main man on his first visit to Manchester and to check out the 34-24-36 credentials of Neil’s blonde, gorgeous model girlfriend who was clearly brought along as an incentive. A sort of ‘look what you too could win if you buy my books.’

Mind you it appeared that most of the guys in the queue had already read his previous books. How do I know that? Because many of them were trying to ‘game’ me, or as Neil prefers to describe it, were ‘running game.’ I’ve read it and could spot that I was on the receiving end of techniques such as ‘innocent openers’ and I was witnessing ‘peacocking’ where something is being worn to attract attention.

Admittedly there weren’t any feather boas or light-up jewellery as suggested in the book, but the Manchester boys did their conservative best. Then there was the guy who instructed his friends to ‘Neg her! Neg her!’ At first I thought he was shouting racist remarks before remembering about ‘negging’ where you give a girl a back-handed compliment.  A guy called John took on the challenge and proceeded to tell me that he loved my Scottish accent...before adding that it reminded him of Shrek.

093.jpgAll the rules were being employed. I felt like I’d unwittingly entered a Game Convention. When I finally met Neil a mere four hours after arriving at Waterstone’s I told him that I’d spent the evening being gamed. He asked whether anyone had ‘closed’ and got my phone number.

"Er no."

"Not even your Facebook details?"

I had to reply in the negative again. As I wandered downstairs to pay for my book I wondered whether I should have lied. Had I just given the impression that Manchester can’t pickup? Had I made the boys look bad when it probably wasn’t even their fault, but more down to the fact that I know their game.

As I handed over my money to the cashier she handed me a piece of paper which had been left for me. It had the name John on it and a phone number.

Probably not a close that Neil Strauss would be proud of, but definitely better than nothing.

Click here for Stacey's Tales from the Tower, her diary about romance and living in Beetham Tower.

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jungledrumstickJune 1st 2011.

Great article!!!

Never heard the term 'negging' ...so you learn something everyday.
Just been over to your 'Tales from the Tower' Brilliant writing.
Look forward to more articles from Stacey Berry.

PS........... Did you phone John?

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