Whether the burger train tickles your fried pickle or not, there’s no doubting Manchester’s original burger church, Northern Quarter’s Almost Famous, slapped the face of dining out in Manchester. Procedure was out, slut sauce patties washed down with bitch juice was in. And if you didn’t like it (which a fair few didn’t) you could go shaft yourself. So flows the paean to Famous. Then it burnt out. So they built more. And more came. So they secretly rebuilt the original. Even more came – mostly for the free gear. On it goes… Almost Famous NQ/High St/Open Now/More here
OSCAR 4 OSCAR
This Sundance Film Festival winner, produced by Academy Award winner Forest Whitaker recounts the true story of Oscar Grant, a 22-year-old father returning home after New Year’s Eve 2009 celebrations, shot and killed by a police officer while handcuffed and facedown on a subway platform in Oakland, California. The film recalls Grant’s final day through his eyes. An Oscar contender. Fruitvale Station/Cornerhouse/Oxford Road/Opens Fri 6 June/Tickets here
WETLIFE? WHO CARES…
So it’s going to be a wet Parklife? Ok. And it’s going to be mucky? For sure. But there’s still music? Yes. And there’s still booze? Of course. So what’s the problem? The ninnies and dry lunches may be throwing a wobbler about the prospect of a soggy Parklife, but leave ‘em to it. As Peter Fonda said in The Wild Angels (1966): “We wanna get loaded. And we wanna have a good time. And that’s what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna have a good time… We are gonna have a party!” - Unless you can’t get tickets. In which case, It’ll be crap, I’m sure… Parklife Weekender/Heaton Park/Sat 7 to Sun 8 June/SOLD OUT/Line-up/@Parklifefest
Chorlton, not short of a few bars, has a new one. Well, not a new one, a rehashed one. Strange Brew, formerly The Jackalope on Barlow Moor Road, is set to throw open its doors once again this weekend. Dave Williams, a seasoned Manchester bar and pubber has had it up to the fill-line with fancy joints. “I’m sick of cocktail bars and American themed bar and restaurants,” said Dave. “People like me want to go somewhere with good beer, listen to good music and have a good time in a bar with a nice atmosphere.” Actually Dave I was looking for shit beer, shit music and a shit time surrounded by utter gits, but we’ll give your way a whirl. Strange Brew/Barlow Moor Road/Chorlton/Opens Sat 7 June/12pm-11pm/More here
Now in its sixth year, this weekend sees the return of the Manchester Independent Book Market. The UK's largest book market of its kind, there'll be presses from across the country publishing poetry, novels, short stories, art, photography, local history and collectable editions. This year's Book Market is headlined by performance poet Jess Green, whose video Dear Mr Gove, a five-minute long poem that criticises the government's unpopular education reforms, recently went viral, collecting nearly 300,000 views in its first month. Manchester Indie Book Market/St Ann's Square/Sat 7 - Sun 8 June/Midday to 5pm/More here
DEL PIERO, DAVIDS, SEEDORF, STAM, THEAKSTON… EH?
Old Trafford hosts Soccer Aid in aid of UNICEF this Sunday as an all-star England team of sports stars and famous folk take on an all-star Rest of the World team. They line-up as follows:
England: Robbie Williams, Jamie Redknapp, Jack Whitehall, Jamie Carragher, David Seaman, Teddy Sheringham, Dominic Cooper, Marvin Humes, Mark Owen, Olly Murs, Paddy McGuiness, Ben Shephard, Jamie Theakstone, John Bishop, Matt Le Tissier, Des Walker, Jonathan Wilkes and Stephen Moyer.
Rest of the World: Edwin van der Sar, Edgar Davids, Alessandro Del Piero, Andriy Shevchenko, Jaap Stam, Clarence Seedorf, Gordon Ramsey, James McAvoy, Adam Richman, Kevin Bridges, Patrick Kielty, Santiago Cabrera, Nicky Byrne, Michael Sheen, Jeremy Renner, Sam Worthington, Mark Salling and Martin Compston.
Hmm. Good luck England. Still, we’ve got Wilkesy. You know, Robbie's mate, the one from You've Been Framed. No?
Soccer Aid for UNICEF/Old Trafford/Sun 8 June/KO 8pm/Adults £20, concs £5/Tickets here
IDEAL HOME? GO
Amazingly now 106 years old, The Ideal Home Show, the world’s longest show of its ilk, comes to the North West for the first time ever. If you’ve got a home (which you probably have as this has to be plugged into something, or you live in Starbucks, in which case get a life you wet) then you’ve bought stuff to put in it. Probably too much stuff. Here’s your chance to buy more stuff. 300 exhibitors across seven dedicated show areas will pretty much cover everything. Except damp. That’s staying. Ideal Home Show/EventCity/Trafford Centre/Fri 6 to Sun 8 June/Confidential readers get two tickets for £15 here.
CARS AND CABBAGE
If there’s two things James Martin, telly chef and Chef-in-Chief of the James Martin restaurant in Manchester235 casino, loves, it’s cooking and cars. So he's married the two for one almighty show-off. This Sunday you can go along to Great Northern, eat a Sunday Lunch for £35 in the restaurant and gaze upon Martin’s beautiful personal supercar collection, including no less than four Ferraris. Four. He’ll also be there to talk to you about his four Ferraris - Next week Tim Bacon’s going to stand outside Manchester House and throw gold bullion at your head.
What? The event is raising money for The Christie charity? Well now we feel bad. Could always sell a Ferrari. James Martin Supercar Sunday/Great Northern and Manchester 235/Sun 8 June/11am-4pm (restaurant 12-8pm)/FREE to attend (Sunday Lunch £35)/More here
ANCOATS: "HELL ON EARTH"
Opening in Spring 2015, HOME, a new centre for the arts, theatre and film at the First Street development, has announced a season of site-specific theatre in the run up to opening. Angel Meadow, opening Tuesday 10 June, will be an immersive, adrenaline-fuelled encounter, digging up an area of Manchester that no longer exists, a predominantly Irish, Victorian slum that occupied Ancoats – “a sordid hell on earth at the centre of the industrial world, populated by red-eyed scuttling gangs and girl rippers.” Sounds like Scunthorpe. Angel Meadow/Ancoats/Tues 10 - Sun 29 June/Shows start every hour from 5pm/Tickets here
FORGOT ABOUT DRA-LION
Dralion may sound like something you bung down a smelly sink, but in fact it's a show by long-running Canadian entertainment company, Cirque de Soleil that fuses the 3000 year-old tradition of Chinese acrobatic arts with the multidisciplinary approach of Cirque du Soleil's blend of circus arts and street entertainment. Dralion 'draws inspiration from Eastern philosophy and its never-ending quest for harmony between humans and nature.' - The whales might have something to say about that, mind. Cirque de Soleil: Dralion/Phones4u Arena/Weds 11 - Sun 15 June/8pm/Tickets here
George Ezra first posted Budapest online as a free download last autumn and in little more than six months, the song had been streamed more than 10 million times on Spotify and five million times on YouTube, taking root in the top 10 across Europe. His first two EP releases - Did You Hear The Rain? and Cassy O’ - both hit the top 10 on UK iTunes and he leaves a trail of sold out shows in his wake, including a 22-date debut UK tour.George Ezra/Academy 2/Thurs 12 June/7.30pm/Tickets £13.75
BY GEORGE! AGAIN
A new exhibition celebrating the best of George Best, both on and off the pitch, was opened at the Manchester United Museum on Friday 6 June. Called ‘George Best – ICON’, George replaces the current David Beckham exhibit at the club’s museum at Old Trafford stadium, which is also offering FREE entry throughout June. George Best - ICON/Man Utd Museum/Old Trafford/FREE throughout June/More here
OH... THERE'S ALSO THE SMALL MATTER OF THIS...
The FIFA World Cup begins this Thursday 12 June with host nation Brazil taking on middling Europeans, Croatia. From then until Sunday 13 July football will be rammed down your gob whether you like it or not. So throw yourselves in. ITV will be dumping 450 tonnes of sand in Old Granada Studios for the competition too, so even if you don't like football, you can always dig a hole and bury your head in it. World Cup/Everywhere/From Thurs 12 June to Sun 13 July
Depends on the arse.Read more
As usual mancon make no reference at all to the Irish Festival again .Read more
Double whammy of good markets too - Levenshulme have a food and drink only market on Saturday and…Read more
There are no excuses for arse-kissing.Read more