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National Sickie Day

Not National Sicko Day as it was initially misread when this press release appeared in our inboxes.

Published on February 7th 2006.


National Sickie Day

Not National Sicko Day as it was initially misread when this press release appeared in our inboxes (we had visions of Hannibal Lector, Richard Hilman, Anthony Perkins and Jeffrey Dahmer celebrating with a slap up dinner), it was actually National Sickie Day earlier this week, aimed at highlighting the fact that, for some bizarre reason, February 6th is deemed the day when most UK workers pull a sickie.

With bugs, viruses (real ones, not just computer viruses) being commonplace these days, the British workplace has become reminiscent of school with workers having to come up with more that your average excuse to ‘pull a sickie’.

A survey of 4,000 workers has revealed widespread dissatisfaction with the number of holidays, along with a need to recharge the batteries after coping with the post-Christmas blues.

The north of England was named as the region most likely to find workers pulling a sickie, with Liverpool named as the sickie capital of the UK. Workers in Scouseville took an average of 13 days off a year compared to just 3 in London.

Women also believed they could get away with having twice as many days off sick as their male colleagues.

One in four of those surveyed said they had pretended to be ill when calling in sick by coughing or spluttering down the phone and more than half carried on the façade when they returned to work.

Around half of those questioned said they will take at least one day off sick this year, either to catch up on sleep, extend a weekend break, recover from a hangover, or, erm, go shopping.

Tim Gough
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Corinne Douncey, from TipTopJob, gives us a run down of the best excuses that she’s found during her time as a recruitment consultant:

  • My partner locked me in the house on the way to work, he's got the spare key and I'm too big to climb through the window
  • I need to hide from the paparazzi after my sister sold a kiss and tell story about a famous footballer to the tabloids
  • I had a chemical face peel and my face has blistered so badly, I'll scare the customers
  • I ran out of petrol on the way to the office and the breakdown service has said they'll take about 6 hours to get here
  • I've won a competition and have to collect my prize today or it'll be given to someone else
  • A monkey has escaped from London Zoo and is sitting in my back garden. I’ve got to wait for the gamekeepers to come and rescue it. It’s broken all my plant pots, dug up my flowerbed and ripped my windscreen wipers from my car - so I’ll have to take the day off so that I can clean it up and sort everything out!
  • After a bad storm, a lady called to tell her employer that she couldn't come to work because the storm had cut off her electricity - she couldn't get her car out of the garage because she had an electric door opener
  • As I was eating my Rice Crispies this morning, I swallowed the free toy which has cut my throat. I am on my way to A and E now, in agony and I will be suing them!
  • I’m not going to be able to come in today. Woke up to some bad news…my gold fish has died. I need the day off to mourn.
  • I’m not going to be able to make it into work today… I’ve locked myself out the house! I’ve only got my boxers on!
  • I was doing some DIY yesterday and I chopped the end of my whatsit off with a very large saw whilst cutting some MDF wood. I was in complete agony and spent the day in A and E. I am now at home in bed and not moving!
  • My father’s sex change operation is in its last stage and I have been asked to donate a skin graft
  • My child was arrested and I had to go and pick him up from the station this morning. He was throwing eggs at passers by with his friends.

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Anonymous

Depends on the arse.

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As usual mancon make no reference at all to the Irish Festival again .

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Double whammy of good markets too - Levenshulme have a food and drink only market on Saturday and…

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There are no excuses for arse-kissing.

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