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Manchester Confidential to Widen

Published on January 7th 2005.

The Government has today announced plans to widen Manchester Confidential to allow more traffic to get through to the website.

With single file traffic and queues of up to sixteen hours of people waiting to read our event coverage, restaurant reviews, and generally good articles from around the city, the decision will bring joy to residents and workers in town, with the new widening scheme allowing new sections such as our Events Calendar! - click here for more.
Environ 'mentalists' are up in arms, mainly because there've nothing else to do. Twiggy Twigface said: "There's no need to widen Manchester Confidential, it's wide enough already and has too many readers as it is. Save the trees!"
An official statement from Manchester Confidential responded by outlining the fact that we love trees. In fact, we would be happy to cover a tree museum or something - if someone invites us to one.

The best thing about the widenening of Manchester Confidential is that, despite faster access and more variety, there are absolutely no toll fees, everything is free!.
The new 'Play as you go' widening scheme allows people and businesses to have as much fun as possible, and reach their destination of ecstatic happiness and joy, far quicker than they have ever been able to.
Government spokesman, Jimmy Jobsworth said: "There is currently a large amount of congestion in the area of the 'rubbish Manchester portal' so we're just trying to lighten the load."
The Manchester Confidential widening is expected to take up to five minutes, the time its taken you to read this article actually, so what are you waiting for? Log on and find out what you've been missing! www.manchesterconfidential.com.
Relief for Mancunians or a threat to the environment? Have your say! on the Manchester Confidential widening scheme!

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