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Kelly Flashes her Jaffas

Published on September 15th 2005.


Kelly Flashes her Jaffas

Fresh from jumping out of an aeroplane, our Kelly experienced pop idol-esque auditions at The Lowry Hotel at the weekend as we took Jaffa up on their invitation to audition for the new face of Jaffa.

Kelly was left more red faced than orange as she was forced to act out some totally unexpected scenarios in front of the director of Jaffa UK, a seemingly sweet Israeli called Dov.

Jaffa have begun scouring the earth – well, Manchester, Birmingham and Portsmouth, for a male and female to play the parts of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden for a new television ad campaign, with the orange playing the vital part of the forbidden apple. If Kelly gets through then you’ll be seeing her dressed down significantly with nothing to protect her dignity other than a few strategically placed fig leaves and a long wig…something Kelly is particularly looking forward to.

A slightly apprehensive Kelly turned up at the Lowry, the same venue as the X Factor auditions a few weeks earlier, to be greeted by a bunch of Jaffa helpers, including Laura Macdonald who had invited us down in the first place. The venue was heaving with Jaffa wannabees, with a wait of about an hour – we worked out that meant there were around 500 girls wanting to be ‘Eve’.

In a place full or oranges, there were a few of stuffy faced agency led models sat around like lemons. The knives were out for many, a white toothed gaping smile turning into the a face like a bulldog chewing on a wasp as soon as their backs were turned was the case in many instances. Luckily, for every lemon, there were two friendly models, the vast majority taking the day as a fun day out rather than a job interview that their life depended on.

Brendan MacNamara from Jaffa helped us get Kelly settled, explaining how long the wait would be, and explaining what Kelly would have to do. Apparently it wasn’t just a case of having a few photos taken…..

Now Kelly’s a loveable woollyback (*Someone from Warrington apparently), always has a smile on her face, but a quick once over of the itinerary sheet meant that this was in danger of being wiped off for good:

  • Note One: Walk around the room in the style of ‘Eve’
  • Note Two: Acting Scenario – pretend that a guy you like the look of has just walked in and you are trying to catch his attention
  • Note Three: Acting Scenario: react to someone who has tried to take your Jaffa orange from you.

Even at this early stage, the smile was still there. But by the time we’d reached the audition door, it had gone completely. “This is worse than any parachute jump” exclaimed Kelly as she was summoned into the room.

A few shots to camera and Kelly completed her Krypton Factor-style acting scenarios in front of a waiting panel that included Israeli Dov Warmen, head of Jaffa UK no less!

I stood at the back trying not to distract her by taking a few pictures (as you can see) but this clearly didn’t help as the Spanish inquisition began.

“Do you think you’re beautiful?” was one of the early questions. Now, how are you supposed to answer that? You can either say ‘Yes’ and sound like one of the models mentioned earlier, or you can say ‘no’ and fail to get the gig. Kelly came up with an excellent middle of the road answer which came up trumps with the interviewers.

Next question: “Are you comfortable being topless?” came the next question from the head of Jaffa UK as his sidekick nodded, smiled and awaited the response, which was a big fat “yes” from Kelly, who looked strangely excited by the idea.

Dov then asked Kelly to put her hair up before exclaiming that she was indeed beautiful – thank god for that – before moving onto the next question which luckily WASN’T: “can you take your top off?.”

The next question was in fact: “How would you cope with international stardom?” Apparently the winner of the new face of Jaffa will be whisked around the world and be introduced to a Posh and Becks style lifestyle, including trips to New York, Barcelona, Jerusalem and Bognor Lime Regis.

So can she make it to the next round? We find out if Kelly’s dazzling beauty and top notch Jaffa acting skills have won the judges over…..Watch this space!

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Depends on the arse.

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