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Jeremy Paxman joins BNP party

Gordo eats meat and exercises his twisted imagination

Written by . Published on June 22nd 2009.


Jeremy Paxman joins BNP party

In a world exclusive, Gordo, the cult, but slightly overweight North West food and drink reviewer of Confidential can reveal that Paxman tried to join a BNP party here in Manchester, England - capital of all things cool last Thursday night.

The party went with a bang - it’s difficult not to when each guest is confronted by legs of beef hanging off plates and as much falling down juice as you can get down your neck.

Manchester’s ‘shed queen’ Sara Jane Preston, the gaffer of property company Atisreal along with her trusty sidekick Brendan O’Herlihy, had decided to have a party at Bem Brazil. This is Manchester’s top vegetarian restaurant, (Gordo behave, you know it’s the biggest celebration of flesh around, Ed) to mark the change of the company name to the much snappier, if not quite as PC-friendly title, BNP Paribas Real Estate. The BNP refers to Banque Nationale de Paris, which was a former name.

Sara Jane and Brendan are renowned as some of Manchester’s best hosts when it comes to throwing a party. They aren’t bad at property either, although Gordo is a bit confused by the title ‘shed queen’. Can this be the same as Gordo’s earlier title , ‘laundry king’ at age fourteen, when he used to drag the girls into the laundry room at his elder brother’s parties back in Prestbury? Not many managed to come away clean.

One thing Gordo can attest to is just how powerful Sara Jane is. At around eight pm, she just clicked her fingers and the road outside the restaurant was instantly closed. Then a Brazilian band started playing, four fabulous girls stripped to their underwear and a rather unhappy looking, Jeremy Paxman, appeared from nowhere begging to join the party.

Brendan got him in an arm lock and dragged him in.

Sara Jane took one look at his face and threw him out again.

The party went with a bang - it’s difficult not to when each guest is confronted by legs of beef hanging off plates and as much falling down juice as you can get down your neck.

Top party this year so far guys.

Gordo

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39 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

Interested observerJune 22nd 2009.

Is "Gordo, the cult" a typo, perchance?

Gordo not BennetJune 22nd 2009.

That you Simon? Everyone else, 'twas a joke people!

AnonymousJune 22nd 2009.

A poor attempt at generating hits. Shame on you Manchester confidential.

CasJune 22nd 2009.

This is ridiculous and I honestly think people should be made to take an intelligence test before coming on this site! Honestly anyone who actually thought the above headline had anything to do with the baddies, the 'BNP' needs their head checking. For the really simple amongst you, sometimes media editors use headlines to grab attention. However they do not account for some idiots to then take the hump and get so high on the horse they get a nose bleed. BNP is a legimate bank, BNP is the legitmate name of the bank and it is used. What do we do banish anyone else using BNP, like we so wrongly banished the Union Jack? You know, sometimes I don't agree with articles on here, sometimes I do and I'm happy that's the case. Sometimes I like the editorial and sometimes think it's a bit silly, I like that too. Much better than the clinical, cleansed stuff available in the mainstream. Brel, let me just give you an example of how ridiculous your comments are, surely you'll be of the thought that the Nazis were pretty bad and any jokes to do with them are wrong. Well in an above rant you say: 'Manchester Evening Stormtrooper', surely you know a Stormtrooper was a type of highly trained member of the German army in World War II who killed the enemy as they rested in their trenches. Either you don't know this and are ignorant or you do and think the Nazis were a cuddly bunch. Brel quite frankly you're obviously a prize idiot so next time you come on here lecturing the editors on what they can and cannot put as a headline, at least make sure points in your rants are not indentical to the thing you are lambasting. Very poor.

AnonymousJune 22nd 2009.

The waste of time and web space generated by this article is nothing compared to the constant waste of oxygen needed to fund your sorry little lungs. If you don't like it, read something else. Simple that, like yourself.

NewsnightJune 22nd 2009.

We are watching and you're a muppet.

BrelJune 22nd 2009.

@ CasOf course I know that it's a bank and I was well aware it was a joke. I didn't like the joke and I have every right to come on here and point this out. I also know what a "stormtrooper" was, thank you very much, but your insulting comments you can keep to yourself. Prizeless idiot.

Sacked GordoJune 22nd 2009.

Interested Observer, now that's a proper mancon dig! xcellent.

not so funnyJune 22nd 2009.

Why do you persist in treating the BNP as a joke? They are about as funny as strychnine and just as lethal

AnonymousJune 22nd 2009.

So its a joke some didn't find funny, do you really think heads should roll? Get over yourself.

FiJune 22nd 2009.

LOTS

ADJune 22nd 2009.

Does this mean that I shouldnt laugh at Dads army or Allo Allo?FYI stormtroopers originated in WWI not II so not actualy nazi...

SozzleJune 22nd 2009.

what are you talking about? Strychnine isn't funny in the slightest.

Jeremy PixmanJune 22nd 2009.

I thought this was about me then, was going to defend myself but it appears I've got no need.

Sunny Simon, ManchesterJune 22nd 2009.

I often receive junk email that contain random words so as to avoid capture by the spam filter. Reading the article above reminded me of the text within one of those emails. What on earth is this report trying to convey?

Sacked GordoJune 22nd 2009.

Couldn't remember Jimmi's surname to be honest, so just shoved it up. The other two are good drinking pals. As, of course, are you John old chap. That may well get me the sack again from the 'watch out, there's a fascist about' brigade

AvoJune 22nd 2009.

I'd take Gordo in every which way but loose.

AnonymousJune 22nd 2009.

Brel, agreed. so disappointed with the editors.

Gordo is a CuntJune 22nd 2009.

What a waste of an article.

Sarah (Mr Paxmans production assistant).June 22nd 2009.

You've had us laughing in the office, all apart from Mr Paxman that is, who (I'll put it lightly) did not find this funny. Who's the editor at your magazine? I've left a message and had no reply, you don't appear to have her contact details anywhere on the site either, so could you please advice me how I can get in touch to discuss this further?

AnonymousJune 22nd 2009.

Editor, I am so sorry I need your help.I could not understand this article at all...What do you want to tell us, and what is this about? Or, is this just a kind of joke? I am so sorry, probably I should not have been so serious about the title "Jeremy Paxman joins BNP party"...

BrelJune 22nd 2009.

But this is no longer about a party, is it? It's about the editorial integrity here on ManCon, in my opinion. I've seen the BNP in action, they are not funny in the slightest. Has this website sunk so low that it takes the name of a much respected public broadcaster and maligns him in such a lazy and pathetic way? Clearly, it has!An apology should be printed and the headline should be removed. Only then would I accept this as a joke that backfired. I'm not getting on any high horse, I've cracked ill judged jokes before. However never published and I've always had the decency to acknowledge my mistakes.The BNP are not the subject of light hearted banter. I've seen violent reaction from them to voices of discontent. This Joke is Not Funny Anymore & it never was.

BrelJune 22nd 2009.

I never compared the MEN to Nazis? Amongst my group of friends and colleagues it is simply known by the other name (not enough time to go into right now). Using a term from history is not the same thing as stirring up a false tale about a current bunch of Nazi's who are on the rise. Even if it was a joke. To be honest, I've mellowed a bit since my rant (the sunshine effect). A slapped wrist and I'll say no more!

BlackCountryJoJune 22nd 2009.

The BNP refers to Banque Nationale de Paris, which was a former name.Still a bit of an awful joke to be honest

James KayJune 22nd 2009.

Personally I don't know which BNP I find most offensive!! Sorry... that was a joke, please retract it and I will of course resign immediately.

Lancaster BomberJune 22nd 2009.

Ben, yes, but you don't seem to have a sense of humour you boring numpty. me, i would take Gordo anytime. Erm, but not in a wrong way...

CasJune 22nd 2009.

Oh, and my point is, laugh at the lot of it! I just wanted to point out Brel's alarming hypocrisy!

BrelJune 22nd 2009.

Very poor. This kind of crap editorial stuff really lets this website down. Even the Manchester Evening Stormtrooper would not sink to these depths. Heads should roll!

benJune 22nd 2009.

Even if it was a joke - it really is nonsense

philJune 22nd 2009.

For those who didn´t understand, let me translate - someone called Gordo who reckons he´s the northwest´s top food critic went to a party laid on by some reasonably successful property owner. He had a few drinks and a big meal and met loads of people, most of who you´ve never heard of and have no interest in. Basically it was very dull and not worthy of an article, so to spice things up and justify the cost of him having been to this shindig, he´s written this piece including a joke, (in fairly poor taste, but it would be amusing if the BNP weren´t the extremists they (allegedly, just in case) are) and the mention of some celebrity you might have heard of before, who was allegedly there for all of two minutes.Note to the editor: if you would like me to go to some parties, like this one, at Manchester Confidential´s expense and write some completely pointless articles afterwards, I´m sure I could find the time

CasJune 22nd 2009.

Brel, can you then explain your obvious hyprocrisy then? You say 'the BNP are not the subject of lighthearted banter' then surely neither are the Nazis. Gordo takes the BNP name in jest, as you think, and you say the editorial is crap and his head should roll - but comparing the M.E.N. to a Nazi elite force is perfectly fine is it? Can you explain this glaring flaw in your argument? Or are you indeed a humourless muppet as johnthebrief puts it?

Gordon BennetJune 22nd 2009.

Gordon Bennet, lighten up, i was their it was dead funny and Gordo got a great picture. I thought ManchesterCon was read by people who liked the odd legg pull?

johnthebriefJune 22nd 2009.

Wow, I never realised there were so many sad, humourless muppets in the world. Still, at least they keep the Guardian going

johnthebriefJune 22nd 2009.

Should I feel inadequate because I have no idea who "Mike, Sue and Jimmi" are ?

FiJune 22nd 2009.

lots of people 'pay' to attend parties, or are paid to do so - the whole of Manchester is littered with z-list celebs and local 'movers & shakers' who will attend the opening of an envelope if it benefits them....

AnonymousJune 22nd 2009.

Editor, you must answer to these rants. People in Newsnight may also watching here...

Sarah LouJune 22nd 2009.

Is that Dev from Coronation st top right? How has nobody commented about him yet. What's he doing at a bank do?

CasJune 22nd 2009.

Ad, as I know it, Stormtroopers started second world war. An earlier general, Hutier, used similar tactics in the first world war but actual Stormtroopers were second world war and the term used restrospectively as an easy way to make connections between the similar infiltration tactics. Don't believe everything on the internet as it's usually recycled Wiki stuff!

rosieJune 22nd 2009.

@Phil-since when did anyone pay to attend a party?your friends must really dislike you if that's how it works in your circle.

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