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Gordo'll Bring a Picnic Next Time.....

Published on September 5th 2005.

Gordo'll Bring a Picnic Next Time.....

From the sublime to the ridiculous. Saturday lunchtime found Gordo in the Malmaison Brasserie, with the great man of letters, Geoffrey Littman, along with the great man of beer tasting, Howard Sharrock. Beef burger for Gordo, £10.95. Called the Malburger, it was frankly the best he has had in town. Juicy, ground beef, lean, correctly seasoned in a freshly toasted plump bun and brilliant crunchy fries. A home made relish came with it. It is the only relish Gordo will ever have instead of Heinz. Awesome.

Several hours later, Gordo is sat on the grass in Heaton Park at the Stella Pulp Fiction gig, the beer taster still in attendance but Mr. Letters presumably entertaining Mrs. Letters with his snoring on the couch back in the darkest suburbs. Gordo is feeling peckish, spots a stall with the logo ‘Ultimate Burger’ on it and gets up to go and buy some, having showered most of the Ear to the Ground staff with Stella. Four open bottles in his pockets was not sensible.

The ultimate burger was £4.50, six quid cheaper that the Malburger. It was the most horrific piece of crap Gordo has ever tasted. The burger tasted rusty. The buns could have been used as miniature Frisbees and Gordo was concerned about putting the chips on the floor ‘lest they slimed off into the night and finished up creating an environmental disaster in the food chain by eating all the slugs in the park. Whoever let these animals put their vans up should be dragged into Albert Square and put to the guillotine, along with whoever in the council who has had the gall to vote for an increase in the parking meter charges. More of that another time.

Stella, great night, great sound system, great beer (until it ran out) but don’t go into solids, you will ruin a great brand.


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