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Dirty Goings on at Opus

Last Wednesday (May 31st) Manchester’s newest nightspot, Opus, was terrorised by Dirty Sanchez.

Published on June 6th 2006.


Dirty Goings on at Opus

Last Wednesday (May 31st) Manchester’s newest nightspot, Opus, was terrorised by Dirty Sanchez. Fresh from completing their movie in London, Welsh nutcases Pritchard and Dainton from the show were in town to treat Manchester to some live fun.

We managed to catch up with the boys over a pint before the show. My oh my, was that an interesting half hour…

If you are easily offended I suggest that you close this window and go and make yourself a nice cup of tea. Dirty Sanchez swear. A lot.

So, I hear that you’ve been in London today filming?
Dainton: Yeah, we’ve just finished Sanchez the movie

What’s that all about then? Is there an intellectual storyline?
Dainton: Intellectual? Well I’m sure if you dig deep enough you’ll find it undermining society in some way! But it’s loosely based on the seven deadly sins – we go around the world committing the seven deadly sins, in places like Moscow and Thailand, and each different place is a different sin. I’m gonna let the cat right out of the bag here - but we’ve finished the movie, it’s a wrap, as of four o clock this morning!

Is that a Manchester Confidential exclusive??
Dainton: Yep – right from the f******* donkey’s d****! We’ve had about four wrap parties already. I’ve got an idea – a way to explain it is that it’s like Dirty Sanchez the series but with a narrative running through it.
Pritchard: What’s a narrative?
Dainton: I can’t explain it, I just know that it has a narrative…

When will the film be released then?
Dainton: September 15th is the premier – Leicester Square, red carpet. Then we go to the states, fly out there, go to L.A…
Pritchard: Who the f**** do you think you are, Tom Hanks or summat?
Dainton: What! I’m just telling the truth!

So I take it that Dirty Sanchez must be pretty big in the US as well?
Pritchard: The show is actually the most popular in South America…
Dainton: But we have 400 million viewers world wide, in 64 different countries. Actually I’m lying, it goes out to 411 million households – they don’t all watch – but it gets that many viewers.

Do you have to have subtitles?
Dainton: Well we need subtitles anyway to be honest in this country because nobody bloody understands our accents!

Would you like to hear my welsh accent?
Both: Go on then

What would you like me to say?
Pritchard: Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerych-
wyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch

Bore da
Pritchard: Wow that’s very good!

Yeah, thanks. My parents used to have a caravan in North Wales so I’m a bit of a pro.
Pritchard: Yeah but you’re from Manchester aren’t you - a lot of Mancs have holiday homes in North Wales.
Dainton: My Nan had a caravan in Prestatyn, I used to go worming.

Worming?
Pritchard: Worming? Is that where you use a stick to bang the ground and…
Dainton: Not worming – cockling! Ha ha yeah, what a f**ck*ng difference! Like, worms come out of the ground, like a cockle!

Oh no but cockling’s dangerous – look at what happened in Morecombe Bay!
Dainton: Yeah they’re a-cock-lypsed now, ha ha. Sorry.

You shouldn’t be laughing at that
Yeah I know. Well you’re laughing – you’re smiling now!

Right, let’s get off this subject. Let’s assume that an alien comes to earth who has never heard of Dirty Sanchez – how would you explain it to them?
Dainton: D*ckheads.
Pritchard: You took the words right out of my mouth.
Dainton: Well we are d*ckheads. We’re just four mates who like to have a laugh, just like any other group of mates, just typical blokes stuff. You know, like your mate falls asleep when he’s pissed and you shave his eyebrows blah blah blah.

So were you all mates before Dirty Sanchez?
Dainton: Yeah yeah, before MTV came along we were all professional skateboarders and we all worked in the skating industry, and we produced a skating video knowing that the humour that we put inside of it could bridge the gap to the mainstream, and it did.
So it’s quite cool the way it happened, snowboarding to the series, and then a movie somehow!

Out of the four of you, who is the biggest wimp?
Pritchard: I am
Dainton: (Pointing at Pritchard) well he’s the biggest c*nt. Seriously though, he worries about everything that happens, he needs a f*cking doctor every show! Joycey – he’s a c*nt, Pancho, he’s a c*nt, he dribbles when he’s p*ssed.
Pritchard: If you think of it though, we’re four different guys, and if we were all exactly the same then it’d be pretty f*cking boring. We’ve all got different personalities, and that’s why the chemistry works between us. So I wouldn’t do what he would do, he wouldn’t do what I would do, we all wouldn’t do what Joycey would do, and we definitely wouldn’t do anything like that f*cking c*ck end, kn*b end, d*ckhead Pancho.

What wouldn’t you do? Where are your limits?
Dainton:Bum a man.
Pritchard:I’ve done it. In Thailand.

Nice
Dainton: It’s not f**cking nice, what you on about?
Pritchard: It’s alright! It was an honest mistake, thought it was a woman but realised it was a man and then thought “oh well f*ck it, when in Rome…”

Excellent, thanks guys!

Dainton: Oh, by the way, you should go to myspace.com and find Pritchard and Dainton on myspace – we’re having a battle on there – the first to five thousand. If I win then I win two and a half grand of his money and he has to shove a donut up his arse while I take a picture of it to put on myspace. And vice versa.

Dirty Sanchez appeared live at The Comedy Lounge at Opus, The Printworks’ newest venue. The Comedy Lounge is every Friday and Saturday and features the very best in UK and International Stand-Up Comedy.

For more information on events at Opus, click here to visit their website.

Jayne Robinson
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