Hacienda to re-open

All right, that was an April Fools' Day treat for you.

After the success of the FAC251 nightclub, the former Factory Records headquarters, a group of city promoters have today announced they will be re-opening the legendary Hacienda nightclub - also a Factory creation.

The legendary Dave Haslam was too emotional to talk about the re-opening.

Speaking at a press launch this morning, people once in their twenties and now in their late-forties and fifties said: “This isn’t about nostalgia, more about looking back fondly to an impossibly glorious era a couple of decades ago. It’s not about hanging on to good memories more about hanging on to our youth.”

Initially it looks like the Hacienda apartments will be used as the venue for the new club. This stands on the original site of the Hacienda and means that a revival of eighties ‘house’ music is likely.

If planning permission to demolish the flats and rebuild the club is denied, promoters have decided that an application will be made to take over the former Brannigans site on Peter Street.

The opening, to be held on 5 May, will have as special guest stars, Jedward. Peter Saville will be designing the opening posters just a little bit late, not loads, just a little bit.

Tourism authorities have stated that: “This is right up our street. It could be argued that going on about the Hacienda is retrograde but have you seen the success of all those Hard Rock Cafes and the Beatles stuff in Liverpool? We want some of that. We’re going to party like its 1997.”

The new Hacienda will have its own stall at MIPIM, the property festival that takes place in Cannes, as an example of how despite the cuts, Manchester remains at the forefront of recycling.

The legendary Dave Haslam was too emotional to talk about the re-opening.

Confidential has been given five pairs of tickets to the opening. Call 08674 264 616 for further details.