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Village round-up 14/03/2008

Wayne Clews gets ready to crown the queens

Published on April 11th 2008.


Village round-up 14/03/2008

As we go shuffling about our daily business in the enlightened 21st century, who would have thought that beauty pageants would suddenly be toute la rage again? Much of this recent coverage is thanks to some poor misguided teenager from Surrey who imagines that being a bumptious size sixteen whilst being surrounded by the usual stick-thin, bottle-tanned blondes will not only make her stand out, but will also be seen as some sort of fat, feminist rallying cry. Hmmm, possibly not.

Wisely, it seems, she won’t be plumping for a bikini during the swimwear round and is opting for a sarong instead, presumably to cover up those thunder thighs. Call me cynical, but I suspect she’s merely hoping to get in the papers and secure a few catalogue jobs as a large size model. Although, judging by her appearance on breakfast telly the other day, I think she will be lucky to get that.

The gay scene, of course, welcomed beauty pageants years ago. Mr Gay UK has been running for fifteen years now and, not that gay men are body fascists in any way at all, looking at the winners from the last few years, with their sun-bed tinted pecs and buffed up biceps and the ubiquitous over-stuffed lycra trunks, it’s hard to tell one from another. Same hair, same body, same vacuous smile: but what did I expect – Rabbi Lionel Blue? Of course, gay men generally need little encouragement to leap up on stage in their underpants, show off their best dancefloor moves and cast a few innuendoes to the crowd. I believe that’s usually called a night out in Essential. Lesbians, however, were a little slower to catch on.

Perhaps this is down to the memory of sweaty uncles in the 70s, swigging beer and grunting how they would love to give Miss Finland one. But, whatever their concerns, over the last few years gay women have embraced the idea of a pageant and this spring sees the chance to enter not one but two contests: Miss Gay UK and Miss Gay Northwest.

The Miss Gay UK heats were due to take place on the April 13 and 20 at Vanilla, but are now being rescheduled. Visit www.missgayuk.co.uk for full details. Meanwhile the Miss Gay Northwest final takes place at Climax on May 25 but to get your entry in, visit www.vanillagirls.co.uk Naturally, these contests do not involve prancing about in the altogether before a braying bevvied up audience: appearance does come into the reckoning but it’s more about attitude, confidence and personality. Looks like it’s time to get that lipstick out…

Recommended

Drag King Ball
Vanilla, April 18
Apparently the butcher, the better, as women actively try to look like men by donning suits and sporting moustaches. Prizes and free shooters available for those who make the effort.

Gay Village Community Dinner
Manchester 235, April 17
Comedian Jonathan Mayor hosts this swanky awards dinner recognising the efforts of people in the gay community. The gay scene isn’t all about clubbing and getting bladdered, you know.

Sin:ergy
Essential, April 20
The itinerant club night is back for a night of hard and fast and furious dance music from Ian M, Lord K and Flash! Looks like Monday will be a write off then…

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5 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

fleecedApril 11th 2008.

In the name of diversity and inclusion what has become of the ‘gay’ village?A recent night out was the combination of the worst elements of an economically deprived seaside town squeezed onto one street. Hundreds of drunken, raucous bawdy and obese hen parties staggering around with their flashing bunny ears, cowboy hats. Saddening how Manchester is presenting its gay identity to the rest of the world?Coming up close are the street sellers hassling for the sale of a rose, a hat, a flashing nightstick, rabbit ears….it’s endless and then they‘re back minutes later trying again and again.Prices increased in bars - ‘just because.’ Unclean and smelling toilets, no soap or towels. Hot water? What’s that then? The priority being to take as much cash as quickly as possible and pay no attention to the provision of hygienic facilities. We’ll sell you a drink and don’t dare expect anymore is a common attitude and approach. Overall I feel fleeced. It’s disappointing that Manchester’s reputation as a european and international gay destination is tarnished with this focus on raking it in without care or consequence to the effect. The gay village exists in name only.

AnonymousApril 11th 2008.

This short piece wins the prize for most offensive article. I'm genuinely upset after reading it and tempted to unsubscribe.

AnonymousApril 11th 2008.

why thanks... I often win prizes for being easily offended, but happy to add this trophy to the cabinet.

Lee AllumApril 11th 2008.

Size 16 is sexier than size 0 any day of the week and much comfier in the sack. I say bring on the big guns and leave the stick insects to their cabbage leaves!!

LiberaceApril 11th 2008.

Ha, great. How long has this been up? Twenty minutes. Anonymous you win the prize for rapid offence.

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