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Village Round-Up

Wayne Clews hunts for Europe's next gay porn star

Published on October 3rd 2008.


Village Round-Up

Europe’s Next Gay Porn StarSpirit, October 11, 9pm-2am

Many years ago, before I knew better about such things, I once appeared in a magazine billed as a model. It’s not something I am terribly proud of these days and it certainly didn’t pay well. Fortunately, for the readership, I was compelled to keep all my clothes on and all I had to do on the shoot was drape my arm round some ginger-haired teenage girl and look like a supportive boyfriend – which was hard to do when they only photographed the back of my head.

The reason for all of this was to promote the services of a sexual health clinic in the pages of Just Seventeen. I was later called upon to reprise my role on a Granada Community News Announcement and appeared before Home and Away for an entire week. My own mother never recognized me. That proved to be the death knell for that particular career.

However, if you are some spunky, young, gym-honed embodiment of gay fitness, some of the adult entertainment industry’s big wigs are in Manchester this week looking for talent. If, however, you are a deluded, beer-bellied baldy on the wrong side of 40, then don’t get your hopes up. Auditions are being held across Europe in some sort of twisted Eurovision meets X-Factor hybrid.

You will be expected to perform in front of a panel of judges and a camera, presumably this happens behind closed doors and not on Spirit’s dancefloor. However, to keep the voyeurs happy, Bel Ami porn stars Johan Paulik and Guy Parker will be on hand to sign your favourite DVDs and photos.

You need to apply online at www.europesnextgaypornstar.com for your chance to take part in the grand final in Portugal. The winner will become the face of Clone Zone 2009, get an exclusive contract with Bel Ami, have their image plastered over those free gay mags full of chatlines, and win a holiday to America. What have you got to lose? Well, apart from your dignity and the respect of your mother…

Recommended

Homoelectric
Legends, October 3, 10pm-4am
The bi-monthly uber-cool gay club returns, promising a night of dirty soul and twisted disco for homos, heteros, lesbos and don’t knows.

Cabaret
Palace Theatre, October 6-11
The most fabulously subversive musical is back in town, revelling in the sexual shenanigans of the doomed debauched youth of Weimar Germany. Wayne Sleep stars.

Mirror, Mirror
AXM Late, Wednesdays, 10pm-4am
Recently launched late night clubbing aimed unusually at trannies and truckers with cool DJs, live acts and a welcoming atmosphere. Also helps if you don’t have to be in work on Thursdays.

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Depends on the arse.

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