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<b>Thursday 18 June</b>: knife crime in Harvey Nichols, Ronald McDonald flees sailors, and witches alarm Catholics

Published on June 18th 2009.

TWO ROYAL NAVY sailors from HMS Manchester have been in court in Chile for the theft of a life-sized Ronald McDonald. Although most of the crew live in Portsmouth, where the vessel is based, they were given freedom to the city of Manchester in 2006. The ship, in service since 1980, carries the city’s coat of arms. Both sailors were fined £350 for the damage to Ronald and ‘have formally apologised to McDonalds’.

A CATHOLIC SOCIAL CLUB has cancelled a witches’ annual pagan ball because it is not compatible with “the Catholic ethos”. The High Priestess at the Crystal Cauldron are claiming religious discrimination against Our Lady’s Social Club in Stockport after they reserved the venue for the October ball but it was later cancelled by the church diocese.

A FIRE CHIEF has branded the youths who shot at his officers as a “feral underclass”. The crew were called to a fire at a scrap yard in Watersheddings, Oldham, to put out 60 deliberately torched cars when an officer was targeted with an air rifle. Although the officer dived to safety, the Watch Commander from Chadderton station has called for action against the “one of many attacks by an underclass who get a masochistic pleasure from attacking us”.

CLOTHES INSPIRED by knife crime have gone on-display in Harvey Nichols, Manchester. The Salford University designer, Ryan Houlton, won the chance to showcase his designs, which reflect, “Knife crime as an issue which has somewhat darkened the society we live in today”.

This 'n' That wisdom: It’s not lack of love but of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.

Taken from the free calendar available at This 'n' That, Soap Street, Northern Quarter. Those curry masters are so very, very sagacious. How does this wisdom rate? 7/10

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13 comments so far, continue the conversation, write a comment.

BenJune 18th 2009.

Surely she could just put a hex on the Catholic's rather than b!tch and moan about it

DescartesJune 18th 2009.

Particularly with the Catholic church's history of burning witches, smacks of silliness to me.

It's all a load of bollox butJune 18th 2009.

how can The High Priestess be disgruntled? Surely the Church is private property and thus can set whatever rules it likes? I'd imagine there's some arcane church-favouring laws to protect it from prosectution anyway.

ellaJune 18th 2009.

why so many anonymous it makes it hard to keep track of whos saying what to whom and even if it is a different whom what you got to hide by going anonymous

BenJune 18th 2009.

What in gods name are clothes inspired by knife crime supposed to look like? A coupld of gashes in the sleeve's and and an intricately embroidered knife on the chest?

BenJune 18th 2009.

Wooahhh, hold the phone Mr. Anon... I thought it was a god given right for people to have there own opinions? I love how in your humble view, people who don't conform to what you believe should be widespread opinion are obviously unemployed with no hope of having a job again. Tw@t

AnonymousJune 18th 2009.

I guess they werent expecting the spanish inquisition??

scoteeeJune 18th 2009.

I should like to design a clothing range made entriely from re-cycled empty water bottles...

AnonymousJune 18th 2009.

Calm down. So someone finds the idea of clothes inspired by knife crime strange, never! And your comments are pathetic. What are you going to do if someone looks at the collection and says it's **** - stab them? Get over yourself.

jinkiesJune 18th 2009.

Why did a pagan group even book a catholic centre to start with? Surely that'd be like the BNP holding a fund raiser at a Mosque?

AnonymousJune 18th 2009.

Obviously you dont know anything about art and design. Lots of research goes into the outfits, it takes a lot of painstaking work and patience. Lastly have you got a job or any prospects of one!!!!!

AnonymousJune 18th 2009.

i am also allowed to have my opinion... just let me eat this apple...

secret squirrelJune 18th 2009.

You'd think those pagans would have done their research and read the Which report first...

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