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<b>Thursday 31 December:</b> Joe Blogg's boss bust, mad 999 calls, fat kids and cars and Megson who?

Published on December 31st 2009.

FOUNDER OF JEANS' BRAND Joe Bloggs, Shami Ahmed, has been declared bankrupt. Joe Bloggs began life in 1985 and was seen as a Manchester fashion player during the Madchester era of city music. Ahmed, who is no longer involved with the company, has been forced into personal bankruptcy after losing money spread betting on the stock exchange.

A LUNATIC WOMAN from Manchester has won the unofficial award of Idiot of 2009 Christmas . She dialled 999 and asked for Greater Manchester Police to sort out her cat which was "doing her head in" after playing with string for two hours. Second prize goes to a man on a patch of ice in a street in Bolton who rang the emergency services because he was too scared to go forwards or backwards.

CHILDHOOD OBESITY laws should be fattened up to ban parents from parking outside schools to combat childhood obesity say Greater Manchester health chiefs want to introduce residents-only parking around schools to encourage more children to walk or cycle.They also recommend 20 mph zones in residential side streets to create more spaces to allow safe outdoor play. Apparently Manchester is the 13th porkiest local authority nationally.

IN THE MOST PREDICTED SACKING IN HISTORY, Gary Megson (50) has left Bolton Wanderers. Unpopular beyond reason with the home support despite preserving their Premier League status last season, he leaves the Reebok Stadium after Hull came back from two goals down this week. Wanderers are currently eighteenth out of twenty in the league.

This 'N' That almost wisdom: The man on a piece of ice who is too scared to go forwards or backwards will not succeed as a lumberjack.

Taken from the free calendar available at This 'n' That, Soap Street, Northern Quarter (or would have been if the editor had brought the thing home before Christmas). Wisdom rating 10/10

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johnthebriefDecember 31st 2009.

Well they do say true wisdom comes form within....

StephanieDecember 31st 2009.

How did David get past your filter system. I have heard (and approve) of a good rant but this is just weird!!!!!I heard the cat lady on the TV - is it possible alcohol was involved?

davidDecember 31st 2009.

hahahahahaaww i should be more sympathetic.but no.joe bloggs founder silly silly ahmedwhat a sham! hahai mean come on with all that money in the bank and flash cars and houses youd think that youd be able to keep your INVESTMENTS in check..its simple really... keep a relatively low overall amount of your money in investments that have risk.. ie spreadbets..so 1- 5% total of his overall wealth should have been put to work here, and if he would have invested slowly and cautiously ,,, researching thoroughly all the best available investment opportunity then he shouldnt have had this problem..its simple .. over time you create a diversified portfolio...(lots of different investments not just the same ones)over time this allows your risk to be reduced,, as you get more money in.. you split the cash into new investments in FIXED INCOME assets ,,e.g investments your sure will give you x amount in return .or you buy some high dividend preffered stock, of lots of different companys..if you know what you are doing then you can find the ex divi date for many thousands of shares across the planet and the amount the dividend issues can be hard to know for definite until you have been paid but by looking at the past results you can get an idea of what to expect..many dividends give return over 10% upto 20% IF you know where to look.finally..HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN TRADING DMA OR direct market access.HE SHOULD ALSO HAVE OPENEDCOVERED WARRANTS TRADING ACFUTURES AND OPTIONS TRADING AC.AND INVESTED IN ACTUAL COMMODITIES NOT JUST INVESTING IN THE PRICE MOVEMENT. WITHOUT TAKING DELIVERY OF THE ACTUAL COMMODITYEG BY REAL COPPER SILVER GOLD PLATINUM PALLADIUM STEEL IRON TIN LEAD TITANIUM GUNMETAL AND TAKE DELIVERY OF IT AND KEEP IT STORED.. FINALLY HE SHOULD JUST HAVE INVESTED IN GOLD IN INDIA..OVER THE NEXT TWO YEARS INDIA IS BANNING ALL ITS IMPORTS OF GOLD... CURRENTLY 20% OF THE WORLDS 800 TONNES OF PRODUCTION PER ANNUM...IN FAVOUR OF INCREASING PRODUCTION WITHIN INDIAS BORDERS.SO TO INVEST IN SMALL MINES WITH GOOD PRODUCTION NOW, AND ANY ROAD BUILDING COMPANIES IN INDIA..WILL SURELY PA OFF DIVIDENDS IN THE LONG TERM...HAHA IGNORE THE PUM

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