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<b>Monday 23 March:</b> Ofsted is confusing, time stops in Manchester, Oldham Road knifing and Scholes is new United goalie - unofficially

Published on March 23rd 2009.

STRETFORD GRAMMAR SCHOOL has received an odd and critical Ofsted report. This has resulted in the school being placed in ‘special measures’ because of ‘poor leadership’ and lack of direction from the governing body. This follows extended sick leave and the subsequent resignation of the head Peter Cookson. Yet the school – a state school within Trafford MBC’s two tier system - is within the top twenty in the country and has been described by the local education authority as ‘extremely good’. Weird.

DING DONG GONE GONE. Manchester Town Hall clock will be stuck on 12’o’clock for seven days starting from today to replace a 53-foot-long drive shaft which has been left untouched since 1882. Time will restart once more on 29 March. The clock which has been running erratically will be repaired by the Cumbria Clock Company.

A MAN HAS BEEN STABBED in the back in Newton Heath. The 19-year-old was found on Oldham Road on Saturday afternoon – a busy time of day on one of the main roads into Manchester city centre. The victim is in a critical condition in hospital.

UNITED have slipped up again, losing to Fulham 2-0 away. With Liverpool winning this cuts the Champions lead to one point with a game in hand. Paul Scholes started the rot playing basketball in his own net and then Wayne Rooney finished off a bad day by slinging the ball angrily back towards where a free kick had been awarded. Meanwhile City won 1-0 and went tenth.

This 'n' that wisdom*: Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow

*Taken from the free calendar available at This 'n' That, Soap Street, Northern Quarter. Those curry meisters are so very very sagacious. How does this wisdom rate? Confidential rating: 5/10

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mark mMarch 23rd 2009.

Liverpool rock

GordoMarch 23rd 2009.

Howard, do you need some work to do?

DaveMarch 23rd 2009.

The problem with Stretford Grammar is, despite creaming off the brightest local kids with their entrance exam, they don't do as well as they should with their bright raw material, especially in maths & science.

HowardMarch 23rd 2009.

Whilst the clock's not working, why keep the light on?

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